I have created the single most distubing MP3. I took the audio from a video of a baby laughing in slow motion and combined it with a song by a drone-metal band called Sunn O))). I think it's the greatest thing I've ever done. In my entire life. Listen to it here.

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It's always been obvious that those who regularily post comments on YouTube have the lowest IQs of anyone on earth, and today I am happy to find out that the people at YouTube are aware of this growing problem. Taking inspiration from one of xkcd's latest comics, they've added a button next to "Post Comment" that allows you to listen to a preview of your comment spoken out loud. The idea is that when people want to submit a comment, they can listen to it first, and hopefully become aware of their own idiocy. I like how they added the new button exactly where "Post Comment" used to be, so people who are quick to reply without paying attention will be forced to listen to their own dribble. My only suggestion would be to trigger the voice upon pressing "Enter".

Taking a minute to play with the new feature, I am impressed at its pronounciation of "lol" as "lawl". It needs some work, however, on "roflcopter" and "lollercoaster".

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I haven't made a post in a while so I am going to share with you some fine internet media. The first is an advertisement for some new Wario game for Nintendo Wii, which I feel is pretty neat. Watch it here. Do not continue reading until you have watched, because the next paragraph contains SECRET SPOILERS regarding the video.

Now that you have finished watching it, you can agree that it is the neatest thing. I want to know what kind of javascript turns your website into a drag-and-drop physics toy like that. If you know, tell me.

The next thing I want to show you is a video of a baby laughing in slow motion. It is extra hilarious if you don't actually watch the video, and just listen to the audio instead. The result is something sounding like a man barfing and crying at the same time.

That is all.

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They are about 13 years late, but my two work friends Keith and Brent came up with the best prank idea ever. Everyone knows about Ironic by Alanis Morissette, right? After telling me their idea, the three of us decided to set up a website, asking for donations of spoons from anyone on the internet. If you don't feel like sending us a spoon, you can give us a quick paypal donation that will go towards the purchase of a spoon. If you haven't caught onto what we're planning yet, once we collect 10,000 spoons, we're gonna stick them all into a box labeled "knives" and ship them to Alanis herself.

It will be the greatest prank. I am telling you.

We figure that sending the package of spoons to her publicly available fanmail address will be good enough, seeing that she probably doesn't get a whole lot of fan mail these days except from maybe a few obsessed fans. We also hope that receiving a box mysteriously labeled "knives" in the mail doesn't strike anyone as overly alarming. HERE'S HOPING.

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Just over a week ago I mentioned Jerktowne, a website that you can send people to if they are being jerks. I've been working on it a little, and just as I promised, I've developed an API that will let anybody with a website running PHP to connect to my database of jerks. This will allow you to do a quick background check on all of your visitors, giving you the power to restrict your content as you please. Nobody wants jerks reading their website.

Every time a user visits Jerktowne, their Jerk Rank is increased by one. This is limited to a one-time increase every 24 hours. For example, if somebody gets sent to Jerktowne 50 times in a day, their Jerk Rank will only increase by one. However, if they are consistently sent to Jerktowne every day of the week, they would gain a significantly higher Jerk Rank than others. This means you could optionally restrict your website from jerks who have a Jerk Rank higher than five, or ten, or even just one.

You can download the API here. It comes with an example file to get you started.

Also, I know the Jerktowne website isn't very pretty yet. It will be, one day.

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Ever since 1995 when Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls was released, I went around saying "bumblebee tuna" under the impression it was an original part of the script. I couldn't have been more wrong.

This startling fact was brought to my attention by Taylor at work, after his mom gave him a can of Bumble Bee brand tuna (as seen to the right). Further investigation showed that the brand has been in existence since 1899. They also sell Bumble Bee chicken, salmon, crab, oysters, clams, and sardines.

Youtube is full of Bumble Bee tuna related advertisements, including this vintage one, and all sorts of other theme songs. My girlfriend and I use "Bumblebee Tuna" as our guild name in WoW, but I had no idea it was such a huge phenomenon.

My life will never be the same.

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I used to be a fan of the webcomic Spamusement, until the writer eventually ran out of motivation and gave up (it's also kind of ironic, the website is now completely filled with ads). The comic took regular spam email subject lines and turned them into hilarious single-panel comics. Some were pretty funny. I don't get a whole lot of spam myself, but a couple months ago I started receiving some pretty awesome ones. This is the one that started it all:

Sweet! It didn't take long before even more gems found their way into my inbox:

And finally...

Usually they didn't even contain any links, just a nice little message for me to read every day. It got to the point where I was actually disappointed when my inbox didn't contain any spam that day. Unfortunately, I haven't received any funny ones in a while, but I'll share them when I do.

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I came up with an idea for a website. It is a really good idea. This is the idea: The idea is somebody sends you to www.jerktowne.com if they think you are a jerk, and in doing so, your IP address is collected and you are forever labeled as a jerk. Forever. Except if your IP address changes, of course. I wish there was some way to uniquely and permanently identify every single user on the internet, just so my website idea will work better.

Eventually the dream is that there will be a single database of all the jerks on the internet, and any website owners out there will be able to access my database and restrict jerks from viewing all their cool content.

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