So bookmarklets are all the rage these days. There can be some pretty useful ones like Readability, which strips non-useful information from any webpage, leaving you with nice easy to read text. There are of course the less useful ones, such as Cornify, which covers any webpage with unicorns and rainbows. 

Over lunch today, I (with a lot of help from Brent (thanks Brent!)) created Papmic Sansrus. Papmic Sansrus has the ability to make any webpage the most offensive webpage in the world... but only if you are a designer. It will replace the font of every word to an alternating combination of Comic Sans and Papyrus.

Click here to see Papmic Sansrus in action, or drag the link to your bookmarks bar for easy use on any website. (If you are reading this in a feed reader, you might need to visit my actual website to witness the glory.)

My original intent was to alternate fonts between every letter, but for simplicity's sake, I decided to make a lite version that limits it to every word instead. Through a happy mistake, however, we got it working the way I originally wanted. Click here to see the ultra version, though you might want to refresh the page if you're reading this with the lite version active. This ultra version works well in Firefox, Chrome and Safari, but has some trouble in Internet Explorer. It also might break some page layouts slightly, but I feel it only adds to the effect. It will also cause your browser to chug/crash if you try it on a very text-heavy site.

Brent is also the author of another fun bookmarklet called 3D. Using this without 3D glasses will probably induce headaches. A couple more hideous ones I've found add drop shadows to everything, or add drop shadows to just text. I am unaware of the author of these gems.

Combine Papmic Sansrus with 3D for the ultimate web experience.

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Much like my somewhat successful Pirate Trent Reznor, I've created a new spoof Twitter account for Oprah during my lunch break. Though instead of translating to Pirate, I've used my newly created Bro-Speak translator. 

I present: Broprah Winfrey. (Thanks Ryan Leland for the idea!)

Sadly, though, I'm not the first to have this idea. The Twitter username "broprah" was already taken for this exact purpose, but it hasn't been updated since August. Also it appears to be manually updated rather than with a translator. So basically: it sucks!

I'm still tweaking the translator quite a bit, as there are a lot of improvements that can be made. I'm going to use this Twitter account as a way to monitor and test REAL WORLD examples so I can make improvements.

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I recently discovered that the best way to ask strangers on the internet for a favor is to use bro-speak. I've used this technique twice already with positive results. One person changed something on their website for me, and the other thanked me for the feedback and is "considering it". In order to use bro-speak you must first be bro-literate. Urban Dictionary defines this as "the state of being literate in the language of bros", or "the knowledge of how to speak and write like a bro".

To help you, I've created a rudimentary bro-speak translator, and I'm currently accepting suggestions for missing words or phrases that you think should be included. Try it out here. It works particularily well with certain phrases like "Hey man, how's it going? Are you going to the bar after work?", but not so well with others.

THAT'S WHY I NEED SUGGESTIONS.

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Anyone with an internet connection for more than a few days has probably come across a parked domain. There are so many parked domains now, legitimate websites are forced to accept ridiculous alternate spellings like Flickr or Digg or whatever else. Today at lunch I went to fun.com to find that, surprise surprise, it was also parked. I decided to perform a little experiment by pretending I was a completely ignorant internet user who was innocently looking for some free music. I clicked the first drop-down and selected "free music". Oh dear.

I eagerly clicked the first result that was presented to me and it brought to FreeMusicConnection.com. I was greeted with a very low bitrate song playing in the background and an animated Flash intro. After clicking "Skip Intro and Take Me to My Music!", I suddenly had a form to fill out. I'm sure they just need a little info and I would be on my way to FREE MUSIC.

So secure.

I guess now everybody knows my password is "Gordon". Please don't tell anyone, guys. Also, at least they're up front with you about how little they respect your privacy!

After filling out the form with fake information, I came to a screen asking to verify my phone number. Rats. I guess they're too smart to let bogus sign-ups get past them. The scary part, though, was in the fine print:

The Service is available to customers of Rogers Wireless, Bell, Fido, Sasktel, Telus, MTS Mobility and Virgin Mobile for a monthly fee of $5.00/week.

Yup. $20/month for FREE MUSIC if you weren't careful enough to read the fine print. Sadly, my relationship with FreeMusicConnection.com was at an end, but I wasn't ready to give up my search.

Back at fun.com, I found another site offering free music, this time it was EZ-Tracks.com. Upon clicking, I had to mute another low bitrate song playing in the background of a flash animation. EZ-Tracks didn't force me to fill out a form before I knew what my options were, which was nice, so clicked a few songs in their "Top Song Downloads" section. Before attempting to download, I checked out some of the comments at the bottom of the page. This was for Snoop Dogg's "Drop It Like It's Hot":

wow i would like to drop it like its hot too. because i am hot and sexy

Sounds reasonable. This one was for Queen's "We Are The Champions":

I think this song is very cool to listening to if you are happy

I was sold. I clicked "Download Now" and I was prompted to enter my email address. I gave them a fake one, and I was brought back to the exact same screen that FreeMusicConnection.com sent me to earlier, asking me to verify my phone number. I guess I wasn't getting any free music today.

Just out of curiosity, I clicked their Terms & Conditions and I found this gem:

Many of the songs available through the Service are performed by their original artists. Notwithstanding the foregoing, you understand and agree that most of the available songs are performed by other musicians in the style of the original artists.

I am pretty certain that the only people that get reeled in by these offers are naive moms that just don't know any better. I weep for them.

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I got a comment on an older post of mine from somebody named Piter Kokoniz. The comment was simply this:

Hello !!!! :) I am Piter Kokoniz. oOnly want to tell, that your posts are really interesting And want to ask you: what was the reasson for you to start this blog? Sorry for my bad english:) Thank you! Piter.

That's it. No links to follow, nothing. I googled his name, and it turned up several posts on other blogs with the exact same comment from Mr. Kokoniz. Either he's new to the internet and doesn't "get" the whole spamming business, or he is legitimately curious as to why I created this blog. If the latter is true, then Pitir, let me tell you:

I started this blog because I am a web developer and I love the internet and technology. I wanted a place to share interesting things I find, and sometimes talk about little things that happen in my life. That's it, really. A simple answer.

So there you have it, Piter. I hope that answer was satisfactory. And don't worry, your english is fine.

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